Bella

⭐ Bella – The Beauty With Boundaries

“Admire me… but don’t overdo it.”

Bella is one of the two official beauties of the household — long, luxurious fur, runway-ready every morning, and absolutely aware of her own aesthetic power.

But unlike Sweetie Pie’s soft, angelic sweetness, Bella comes with royal protocols: pet too long, admire too enthusiastically, or hesitate with treats… and she’ll remind you exactly who runs this castle

Bella is clear about her boundaries, usually with a look that needs no translation

She is gorgeous, yes.
But she’s also the cat equivalent of a velvet couch, elegant, plush, and entirely in charge.

Fun Fact:
Bella assumes everyone already knows the rules.

Brownie

⭐ Brownie – The Slow-Burn Sourpatch Matriarch

“You may pet me twice. On the third one… you take your chances.”

Brownie is the second-oldest female in the household, a 16-year veteran and respected elder who has been with Rita since the days when she was an 8-week-old feral puffball with a don’t-touch-me policy.

Her siblings all softened into sweet, snuggly housecats. But Brownie? Brownie chose character development instead.

After sixteen years, she now graciously allows exactly two pets —
Two.
Not three.
Not “one more.”
Two…and she’ll let you know the agreement has expired.

Despite her “limited physical contact package,” Brownie is deeply bonded to all the boy cats. She LOVES the boys — flirts with them, follows them, naps near them — but the girl cats? Absolutely NOT. Brownie tolerates no female competition. She’s the no-nonsense auntie who side-eyes every woman at Thanksgiving dinner.

She isn’t assertive with the other cats at all. With them, she’s quiet, gentle, and keeps to herself. But with Rita? OH, she has opinions. All of them. Often.

Her truest soulmate is Larry — another former feral who understands the sacred language of  “We love you, but please respect the terms and conditions.”

Together they form the Feral Alumni Club, sharing silent glances that say, “They’ll never truly understand us.”

Fun Fact:
Brownie is not grumpy, just exceptionally fluent in boundaries.

Deckster

⭐ Deckster – The Self-Proclaimed King of Hearts

“I didn’t choose the love triangle life… it chose me.”

Deckster is the undisputed Casanova of the household — a silky-smooth flirt with bedroom eyes and a heart big enough for everyone… yet somehow no one at all.

He wants every cat (and human) to adore him, but he alone decides who is worthy of his affection. His love is exclusive, mysterious, unpredictable — like a soap-opera bachelor who gives out roses based on pure vibe.

His origin story? A MASTERCLASS in manipulation.

One day, little ¨DECKster appeared on Rita’s DECK (no X in my name please), looking pitiful, frail, and oh-so tragically adorable. Rita fell for it instantly. She opened the door… and Deckster walked into his destiny.

The truth? He wasn’t pathetic at all. The moment he stepped over the threshold, he strutted in like he owned a timeshare.

Deckster didn’t “adjust.” He ascended. He knew he was destined to be someone. A king. A heartthrob. A central plotline.

And in his mind? He still believes he is the monarch of the entire household — whether or not anyone else agrees.

Fun Fact:
Deckster is the only cat who successfully flirted AND conned his way into the house. Everyone else was rescued. Deckster just… moved in.

Gigi

⭐ Gigi – The Clingy Koala With Opinions

“Touch me? No. Let me cling to YOU? Absolutely.”

Gigi lives her life according to three sacred principles:

1. Food appears when she demands it.
2. The warmest spot on the bed belongs to her.
3. Rita’s arm is a tree trunk meant for full-koala attachment.

She isn’t big on mingling with the other cats. She’ll lie next to them, sure… But if anyone — especially another girl — DARES touch her? Immediate protest, delivered theatrically. Instant reminder that Gigi has a very exclusive social circle.

Her personality is best described as: “Affectionate, once breakfast diplomacy is complete.”

One day she’s affectionate and squishy, clinging to Rita with all the emotional intensity of a toddler who missed nap time… And the next day she’s side-eyeing everyone like they’re trespassing on her personal cloud.

Gigi also comes equipped with her signature move: The Big Fat Can Body Check™. When she wants Rita to move — or to get closer — she’ll shove her full, glorious backside right into place with determined force.

Her mission in life? Be as close to Rita as physically possible, ideally fused. She’s basically a weighted blanket with opinions.

Fun Fact:
Gigi often relaxes with one leg in the air, because ordinary lounging is beneath her.

Hope

⭐ Hope – The Glorious Matriarch of Hydration

“I’m twenty. I’ve earned the right to complain.”

Hope is the undisputed grande dame of the household — a stunning 20-year-old legend who still has the stamina to throw a full-body zoomie at 11 p.m. like she’s late for a secret meeting.

She is elegant. She is opinionated. She is older than everyone and knows better than all of them.

Hope’s greatest passion in life? Water quality control. She is the household’s official Hydration Inspector, and she takes the role VERY seriously. If the water bowl isn’t changed recently enough to meet her standards, she will stand in front of it and politely meow… Then not-so-politely. Then dramatically. Until Rita fixes it properly, not just tops it off — because Hope knows the difference, thank you very much.

Despite her regal independence, Hope doesn’t totally sleep alone. Once in a while she’ll curl up with one of the boys — especially Simon — forming a dignified little snuggle partnership that looks like a Victorian portrait.

Hope doesn’t need a best friend to validate her existence. She IS the best friend. She IS the icon. She IS the moment.

Fun Fact:
Hope may be 20, but her nightly zoomies suggest she’s secretly siphoning youth from the younger cats.

Jet

⭐ Jet – The Shiny Black Himbo With Prestige Fur

“My coat sparkles. Yours… does not.”

Jet may be the youngest cat in the entire household, but don’t let that fool you — he carries himself with the swagger of a supermodel who just discovered good lighting.

With his sweet, gleaming, shimmer-black fur, Jet believes he is the most visually stunning creature Rita has ever laid eyes on. He is very proud of this. One of his favorite pastimes? Judging Deckster’s fur—because it’s a different shade of black, and even worse, it has white patches.

Jet has made it very clear: He’s the premium model. Deckster is the budget version. And yet? They hang out like best bros. With one caveat: Jet ALWAYS makes sure Deckster knows who the real boss is.

But lately, Jet has been keeping a low profile. He refuses to go upstairs — once his favorite hangout — because the love triangle, the growling, the grooming politics, and the cubbyhole invasions are simply beneath him.

Jet is avoiding the drama because he is, after all, too shiny for this nonsense.

Fun Fact:
Jet checks his reflection in the sliding door not to admire it… but to make sure it’s admiring him.

Larry

⭐ Larry – The Silent Leader With the Secret Soft Side

“I see all. I know all. I say nothing… unless it’s important.”

Larry is the true leader of the household — not the loudest, not the pushiest, not the most dramatic… but the one who quietly anchors the entire feline society. When Rita rescued him, Larry spent the first nine months studying the environment like a seasoned diplomat: everyone’s routines, everyone’s moods, who to trust, who needed space, how Rita moved, how the household breathed.

He hid. He watched. He learned. He became the undercover analyst of the group. Then one day… he simply stepped out of hiding and revealed his final form:

A statesman-like love bug with impeccable emotional intelligence.

Larry loves Rita deeply — in that quiet, sincere, un-showy way that only former ferals can. But he also cares for the other cats, acting as a calm mediator, a steady presence, and occasionally offering a dignified little grooming session to anyone who seems to need it. He is affectionate, but never sloppy. Detached, but never cold. Loving, but never clingy. A king who does not need a crown.

Recently, Larry has found himself drawn — reluctantly — into the chaotic love triangle unfolding upstairs. But Larry is a seasoned strategist. When he doesn’t want to be found, he becomes the house ghost, slipping into the shadows with the skill of a cat who once lived feral and has not forgotten how to vanish.

Fun Fact:
Larry isn’t hiding from the love triangle. He’s just choosing strategic invisibility… a true statesman move.

Lulu Bug

⭐ Lulu – The Wronged Woman Who Rules Upstairs

“I wasn’t replaced by a dog… I simply upgraded kingdoms.”

Lulu entered Rita’s home with the emotional force of a Shakespearean heroine who had survived betrayal most foul. In her previous home, she was replaced by a dog, and she carried that wound like a badge of honor — and a convenient excuse for dramatic behavior.

She arrived furious, offended, and armed with claws she uses like professionally sharpened stilettos. Her first night? Lulu sliced Rita’s nose with the precision of someone sending a formal warning letter.

“Do not presume familiarity.”

But once Lulu realized this was her forever home, she pivoted like the strategic queen she is: Learn the rules. Establish territory. Rule from above.

She claimed the upstairs bedroom as her private suite — a moody sanctuary where she lounges like a self-exiled aristocrat between dramatic plot arcs.

Lulu LOVES her alone time. But if she gets bored, she’ll march to the top of the stairs and yowl for Rita with the authority of a royal summoning her attendant. She operates her suite with a strict guest list. A few cats are permitted. Most are not.

If an uninvited feline crosses her threshold? Hiss. Swipe. Tail flick. She intends to chase them out… but being wonderfully sedentary these days, she mostly relies on vibes.

Despite her hardened exterior and tragic backstory, Lulu has one hilariously tender quirk: She cannot fall asleep unless Rita leaves the cartoons on for her. Yes — this fierce, betrayed, territorial queen… needs bedtime cartoons like a cranky toddler at naptime.

And of course… Lulu has declared herself the founding president of MEOWGA — Make Every Other Whisker Grumble Again. Not a political movement. Just a personal commitment to drama.

Fun Fact:
Lulu’s conflict style is: hiss first, lie down immediately, reflect on emotional exhaustion.

Peanut Butter

⭐ Peanut Butter – The Thick-Thighed Rogue With Swagger

“I have standards, therefore I am.”

At 17, Peanut Butter is now the senior male of the household, second in age only to second in age only to 20-year-old Hope, and fully aware of his status.

Peanut Butter’s story begins at Petco, where fate and Rita intercepted his original family’s attempt to drop him off at just seven weeks old. Everyone warned, “Don’t reach in, he’s feisty.”

Rita reached in anyway. He sat in her hand like a tiny, judgmental marshmallow… and then immediately hissed at a child who approached too quickly. A star was born.

At home, Peanut Butter joined nine-week-old Pinky and Boo-Boo, kittens desperate to befriend him. He responded with classic first-meeting nerves: hisses, growls, and bold declarations of personal space.

And during mealtimes? He would plant himself dead-center on the food plate, guarding his meal like a tiny medieval king, because sharing is for peasants. Originally named Peanut, he outgrew the name, horizontally. With great width came great responsibility. And thus, the name Peanut Butter was born.

Though he and Boo-Boo grew up like brothers, they drifted apart over the years. Peanut Butter became… shall we say enthusiastically masculine. He loves to “assert himself” on Simba, and sometimes Jet, in ways that suggest confidence has never been his problem.

And the funniest part? Peanut Butter is too old for those shenanigans now, but nobody has told HIM. In his mind, he’s still a seductive, swaggering ladies’ man... even if the ladies are no longer taking applications.

Fun Fact:
Peanut Butter isn’t mean. He’s just misunderstood, overconfident, and built like a firm throw pillow.

Picasso

⭐ Picasso – The Fragile Little Artist With a Shattered Past

“Please be gentle. Or slow. Preferably both.”

Picasso is the softest, most delicate soul in the household — a tiny, timid girl whose heart was cracked long before she ever met Rita. Loud noises send her skittering. Sudden movement makes her flinch. Human presence? Terrifying.

When Rita rescued her from the shelter, she asked if Picasso was bonded to another cat. The staff pointed to a small, sweet companion. So Rita brought HIM home too. But tragedy struck. Maxie grew very sick… and he passed.

And Picasso never forgot. Her little heart folded inward, like a paper crane afraid of unfolding again.

It took a year and a half before Picasso let Rita pet her — and even now, Rita must move with the slow, gentle precision of someone diffusing a bomb made of marshmallows. Sometimes Picasso lets herself be covered with a blanket without flinching. Other days, even the softest movement sends her retreating. She tries. She tries SO hard. But what’s “too much”?It changes every day.

Her comfort person? Oddly… it’s Peanut Butter. She knows he’s ridiculous. But he’s safe. And gentle with her. He has never betrayed her, and that means everything.

This year, she finally reached a milestone that made Rita practically cry: Picasso began sleeping on the bed while Rita is in it. Not touching. Not snuggling. Just… sharing space. For Picasso, that’s enormous. It’s trust. It’s bravery. It’s love whispered instead of spoken.

Picasso is shy, skittish, and unpredictable — but she is healing, slowly, bravely, beautifully.

Fun Fact:
Picasso is proof that not all art hangs on the wall — some delicate masterpieces walk around on tiny paws.

Rosie

⭐ Rosie – The Once-Traumatized Phoenix Who Learned to Love Again

“I wasn’t scared… I was just waiting for the right home.”

Rosie’s story begins with fear, chaos, and heartbreak. She was already around a year and a half old when she appeared on Facebook — a rare female orange tabby, one of the few that exist, and a cat with nowhere left to go.

A kind woman had pulled her from the shelter, hoping to find her a home… but Rosie was terrorized by the two toddlers and two dogs she was forced to live with. The woman grew desperate. Rosie was about to be returned to the shelter — for the third time.

And we all know what a third return means. Rita saw her post and didn’t even hesitate. She drove over. Rosie was so frightened it took half an hour to get her into the carrier. Her name was “Tiger.” That was changed immediately — Rosie deserved a fresh start.

When Rosie arrived home, she spent her entire first day curled up in a round litter box — and yes, it wasn’t clean. She was that scared. That broken. That hopeless.

Slowly, she migrated to the master bathroom. Then to the desk in the master suite. It took three weeks for her to relax even a little… six months to trust the routine… but she still never made any kitty friends. Rosie lived quietly, watching everything, letting very little in.

And then?

Rita moved into the big two-story house. And something magical happened. Rosie unfolded. She bloomed like a spring flower no one expected to see again. She came out of her shell with full, joyous force — playing, exploring, trusting, loving.

She adores the other cats now. She LOVES Rita — fiercely, loudly, gratefully.

In the evenings, she curls up on Rita’s chest like she’s trying to make up for lost time. In the mornings, she rubs against Rita nonstop as she cleans the food bowls — purring, head-butting, thanking her over and over again for not letting her become a shelter statistic.

She plays with the laser light (in theory). Mostly she watches the drama like a little orange hall monitor. But when she’s feeling silly? She grabs Rita’s leg as she walks by, like: “Tag — you’re mine.”

Rosie is proof that even the most frightened heart can heal… when it finally feels safe.

Fun Fact:
Rosie’s love language is “constant physical contact and also stalking you gently across the room.”

Simba

⭐ Simba – The Velcro Lover Boy Who Refused the Throne

“I’m here for cuddles, not politics.”

Simba entered Rita’s life at just 2½ months old — dropped into destiny after being found alone in someone’s yard, with no siblings, no mom, and no explanation. Rita’s friend took one look at him and declared: “This is YOUR cat.”

And she was right. Simba arrived fully equipped with rocket-level energy and immediately started chasing every adult cat in the house like they were part of an Olympic track team. Rita’s older cats BEGGED her to “make it stop.” Simba said: “I will not be stopped.”

For the first time ever, Rita went searching for a high-energy companion specifically to burn off Simba’s chaos. Enter: Sweetie Pie, the tiny calico firecracker with a massive attitude.

Simba followed her around for two weeks hissing at her, like: “Ma’am… respect my anxiety.” Then suddenly – a switch flipped. They became inseparable. The toddler besties. The childhood sweethearts. The orange/calico tornado duo who wore out every other cat in the house.

But eventually… they grew up. And Simba decided it was time to embrace his inner “big boy cat.” Sweetie Pie was OUT; new adventures were IN. He pals around with the guys now, fully embracing his dude era.

But no matter how much he matures, Simba is — and always will be — Rita’s Velcro Cat™. He attaches himself to her like a clingy little satellite and absolutely must be spooned every night. He is the little spoon, non-negotiable. If Rita turns over? Simba sprints around the bed to re-spoon IMMEDIATELY.

Simba is curious about the upstairs love triangle, but he’s hesitant — the drama looks exhausting, and Simba has cuddles to attend to. At one point, Boo-Boo tapped him to be the next Alpha. Simba took one look at the job description and said: “Absolutely not. I don’t even like managing my own tail.”

Leadership is too serious. Responsibility is overwhelming. Simba prefers his role as Cuddle Enthusiast and Professional Little Spoon. And honestly? Good thing he declined — because Jet is aggressively campaigning for the job anyway.

Fun Fact:
Simba isn’t avoiding the alpha role because he’s shy — he avoids it because the shift starts too early and he’d rather be spooning.

Simon aka Simon Says

⭐ Simon – The Peace-Loving Hippie Who Came for the Weekend and Stayed for Life

“No hiss. No growl. Just vibes.”

Simon entered Rita’s world by pure, chaotic accident. She and her mom were visiting a locally owned pet shop — a place working closely with the shelter to get cats adopted — when they spotted the cashier holding a tiny kitten who looked…miserable.

The cashier said he was sick. He wasn’t eating. She didn’t know what to do. And of course, the store manager — the only person who knew the protocol — was out of town. So the moment Rita walked in, the staff basically went: “YOU. TAKE HIM.” “Just for the weekend,” they said. (We KNOW how that always ends.)

Rita and her mom took him home. Stopped first at her mom’s house. Opened a can of wet food. And Simon — who supposedly “wouldn’t eat” — SCARFED IT DOWN LIKE A KID AT AN ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT BUFFET. He wasn’t sick. He was just a tiny hippie boy protesting dry kibble.

From that moment on, Simon blossomed into one of the sweetest, gentlest souls in the entire household. He is peaceful, mellow, and entirely unbothered by the drama, chaos, and soap-opera nonsense swirling around him. If SATK were a cast, Simon would be the soft-spoken character who appears in doorways just to say something kind and comforting.

Simon has never hissed. Never growled. Never raised a paw in anger. Not once. Instead, he has one mission in the house: Welcome & comfort every newcomer.

When new cats arrive terrified and confused, Simon is the first to approach them with a slow-blink and a peaceful “hey man, good vibes only” energy. He is the emotional support cat for all the OTHER cats. The house therapist. The chill dude who sits cross-legged in the corner metaphorically burning incense.

If SATK had a theme song for him, it would be something played on an acoustic guitar while Simon helps everyone work through their baggage.

Fun Fact:
Simon wasn’t meant to stay. He was supposed to be a weekend guest. But like all the best houseguests… he moved in permanently without anyone objecting.

Sweetie Pie

⭐ Sweetie Pie – The Calico Beauty With Opinions

“I may look sweet… but don’t get between me and what’s mine.”

Sweetie Pie didn’t begin life as a beauty queen. In fact, when she was first shown to Rita, she was described — lovingly but honestly — as a scrawny, awkward little calico who needed a home desperately.

She wasn’t cute. She wasn’t fluffy. She wasn’t graceful. But she was high energy — and Simba needed a partner in crime. Her foster family called her “Sweetie Pie,” and even as a funny-looking kitten, she had that unmistakable sweetness in her eyes.

Rita took one look and thought: “Yep. That’s my girl.”

And then? Sweetie Pie BLOOMED. She grew into one of the two official “beautiful girls” of the household — stunning, elegant, photogenic, and absolutely aware of her own aesthetic power. She knows exactly how to tilt her head, widen her eyes, and melt Rita’s heart like butter on a warm biscuit.

Facebook agrees — Sweetie Pie has a fan club.

Sweetie carries herself with a kind of poised, graceful femininity… but underneath that delicate exterior is a scrappy little calico gremlin who is NOT afraid to throw paws. When she and Simba were young, they were inseparable. Partners. Soulmates. Orange and Calico chaos twins.

But Sweetie Pie’s true nature came out in her infamous feud with Smoochie (may she rest). Poor Smoochie — sweet, simple, a little slow — would settle peacefully on the sofa… and Sweetie Pie would creep up, silently, dramatically…deliver a perfectly-timed paw tap and vanish like a cat-shaped ninja.

Sweetie Pie has also fully claimed Rita as her personal human property. If Sweetie decides it is time to lie on Rita’s chest? Everyone else — EVERYONE — must leave the area immediately. She will make it abundantly clear the throne is occupied territory. Sweetie Pie is also Rita’s soulmate cat, and she doesn’t let anyone forget that she is special.

The only exception? Bella. A fellow Beauty Girl™. Sweetie Pie respects the hierarchy of hotness. Sweetie Pie is sweet. She is beautiful. She is delicate. She is photogenic. But none of that should be mistaken for softness. She will make her displeasure known if you interrupt her moment.

Fun Fact:
Sweetie Pie enforces boundaries politely, with elegance, posture, and perfect lighting

Teddie Bear

⭐ Teddie Bear – The Shy Street Girl Who Became a Leading Lady

“From the streets of Lancaster… to the spotlight of SATK.”

Teddie Bear’s story begins on the streets of Lancaster, where she was rescued — scared, small, and silent — by Rita’s mom’s friend Jaime. Teddy moved into Jaime’s home even though there was already another cat, and she tried her best to adjust in her quiet, timid way.

Then tragedy struck. Jaime passed away, and her grieving husband, overwhelmed and wanting to keep their original cat, desperately asked Rita: “Please… take Teddy. She deserves a chance.” So at around eight months old, Teddie Bear (as she was re-named) arrived in Rita’s home — fearful, confused, uncertain of her place.

She let Rita pet her from day one… but other cats? ABSOLUTELY NOT. She avoided them like they were tax collectors. Teddie didn’t hide her fear — she embodied it. For the first two years, if another cat stepped into the room, she’d bolt like a startled deer. But slowly… gently… beautifully… Teddie Bear aka TB began to bloom.

And then? SHE BLOSSOMED LIKE A FIREWORK. Confidence. Warmth. Curiosity. DRAMA.

She now allows other cats to share the room without panic. TB participates in play, explores new spaces, and most importantly… She joined the legendary upstairs love triangle with Deckster and Lulu. A shy street girl turned romantic lead? That’s magic.

Teddie Bear wasn’t always Teddie Bear, either — she was originally “Teddy,” because literally everyone thought she was a boy. Rita renamed her Teddie Bear, and honestly? She grew into the name so well that people STILL get it wrong.

She walks around with that soft, sweet, quiet confidence of someone who knows who she is now — not the scared street kitten,
not the grieving girl, but a fully realized woman with opinions, boundaries, and a starring role.

And then there’s her favorite pastime: Zoom Bombing. Whenever Rita has a podcast or a client session, Teddie Bear makes SURE she appears on camera. She struts in, hops into Rita’s lap, and looks straight into the webcam like: “Hello, this meeting is now about ME.” Teddie Bear knows Zoom etiquette. She ignores all of it.

Fun Fact:
Teddie Bear doesn’t “seek attention.” She knows she IS the attention — she just lets humans participate.