Taming Feral Cats with Love and Patience: From Wild to Mild

by Rita Reimers, Multi Cat Behavior Expert

Taming feral cats takes patience, food, and trust-building. Discover expert tips on transitioning feral cats to the great indoors.

Can Feral Cats be Tamed?

So, you’ve spotted a scruffy little wildling prowling around your yard, giving you the stink-eye from the bushes. Congratulations! You’ve been chosen by a feral cat. But before you start picturing cozy cuddle sessions, let’s talk about what it actually takes to tame a feral feline.

Understanding the Feral Cat Mindset

Taming Feral cats isn’t easy; these cats aren’t just “strays.” These kitties were likely born and raised in the wild, with little to no human interaction. To them, you’re the giant two-legged monster that occasionally drops food from the sky.

Unlike a lost house cat, a feral cat’s first instinct is survival, which means running, hiding, hissing, or attacking if you get too close. Winning their trust takes time, patience, and a whole lot of treats.

Have I Tamed Feral Cats Myself?

I’ve had feral and semi feral cats in the past, but I got them as kittens. If you know the saga of my feral quads, Lovey, Cupcake, Dash, and Brownie, you likely heard that all of them became loving cats, except Brownie.

They came to me a 8-weeks of age, and Brownie was handled just like her siblings. But she never became tame. It’s now 14 years later, I still have Brownie (the others have passed) and I can now touch her “sometimes” and she doesn’t always run from me, but she is still not what I consider tame.

Brownie is happy and loves my other cats, so I jokingly call her my cats’ cat! Interestingly, she does lay on my pillow when she is on the bed, so somehow I do bring her comfort.

And Then Came Feral Cat Larry

One day, I received and email from a very distraught couple. They were doing TNR in their neighborhood, then they captured Feral Larry. Larry is a beautiful white cat with one blue eye and one green eye (he is NOT deaf as some white cats tend to be).

Although the intention was for him to be released back outside once he was neutered, it was discovered that Larry has FIV. Returning him to the outside was not an option.

As much as this couple loved Larry, they were unable to keep him due to medical issues of their own. So they begged me to take him. I had just taken in Lulu cat, and wasn’t sure I was up to the challenge of introducing two new cats to my brood, but I took a chance.

Larry Loved to Hid

First few weeks, of course he was kept upstairs in my office to give him time to settle. He is an expert hider, and once I opened the door to get him accustomed to the rest of the house, he hid. I would find his spot so I could feed him, well most of the time. But I was truly worried; what if his FIV flared up? What if I can never find him?

He was so good at hiding, I just had to let him be and hope for the best. I would always call his name in a sing-song type of way, and place his food dish at his last spotted location. I hoped for the best.

Surprise, here I am!

One day, after about 8 months of hiding, he began to show himself. It was apparent he had made friends with a few of my male cats, like Simba, so Larry would stay close to his buddies and observe me.

Soon he was enjoying the window perches in my kitchen, letting me place a food bowl in front of him, and giving me that slow blink that indicates trust is building. But I still couldn’t touch him.

The Breakthrough!

Then one day, I saw Larry on my bed, lying on the pillow I sleep on surrounded by the other cats who love my king-size bed. Is is a coincidence that lying on my pillow seems to be the first step with feral cats; Brownie had done the same thing.

But something was different about Larry. He seemed to suddenly crave my attention. One day I got brave and while talking soothingly, I gently touched him. And he let me. I was over the moon! It had been nearly a year by this point, but somehow I won him over, just by letting him decide when it was time.

Larry now loves scratches under the shin, should rubs, and back scratches. I never do it for too long, because he will get a little antsy if I do. The other night, Larry even jumped up on the bed while I was in it. WOW! I was amazed, and proud that Larry has come so far in a relatively short amount of time.

How Can You Tame a Feral?

There are no guarantees that you would have the same result. But I think the key is to meet them where they are, accept the level of trust and interaction they are willing to give and no more. Let the kitty set the pace.

Here are some tips that will help should you find yourself the caretaker to a feral cat like Larry.

Step 1: Slow and Steady Wins the Cat

The fastest way to scare off a feral cat? Chasing after them with open arms. The best way to get them comfortable? Ignoring them. Yes, you read that right. Simply being in their presence without forcing interaction helps them get used to you. Set out food at the same time each day, sit nearby (but not too close), and let them decide when they’re ready to get closer.

Step 2: The Magic of Food

The way to a feral cat’s heart is through their stomach. Start by leaving food and walking away. Over time, sit a little closer each day until the cat is comfortable eating in your presence. Eventually, you can introduce hand-feeding with a spoon or treats. This is when the magic happens—once a feral cat associates you with positive experiences (read: food), you’re officially on their radar as a non-threatening presence.

Step 3: The Art of Talking to Cats

Your voice is a powerful tool. Speaking softly and calmly around a feral cat helps them learn your sounds. Read a book, chat about your day, or sing them a song (they won’t judge your pitch). Over time, they’ll recognize your voice as familiar and safe.

Step 4: The Blink of Trust

Ever seen a cat slowly blink at you? That’s a feline way of saying, “I trust you.” You can return the favor by blinking slowly at them. No staring contests—just gentle, sleepy-eyed blinks to show them you’re a friend, not a foe.

Step 5: Gradual Contact and Socialization

Once your feline friend is comfortable eating near you, try extending a finger and letting them come to you. Never force contact—let them sniff, rub, or retreat on their terms. If they start rubbing against you, congratulations! You’ve been accepted into their exclusive club.

Step 6: Transitioning Indoors (If Appropriate)

Some feral cats will always prefer the great outdoors, and that’s okay. But if you’re working toward adoption, moving them indoors should be gradual. Start with a safe, enclosed space like a bathroom, with food, water, and a litter box. Let them acclimate before introducing more of your home. Patience is key—this process can take weeks or even months.

Step 7: Vet Care and Long-Term Plans

Trap-Neuter-Return (TNR) is the best option for truly feral cats who prefer outdoor life. If you’re working toward full domestication, vet visits are a must. A slow, careful approach using humane traps ensures the least stress for both you and the cat.

If you are interested in doing TNR to help community cats to not populate, visit The Community Cats Podcast website, where you can become a Certified TNR Expert.

Final Thoughts: Respect Their Limits

Not every feral cat will transform into a lap cat, and that’s okay. Some will tolerate pets, others will only accept food from a distance. The goal isn’t to force them into a mold but to provide safety, stability, and trust.

Taming a feral cat isn’t about control—it’s about earning trust, one careful step at a time. And in the end, even the tiniest head boop from a once-feral kitty is worth the wait. 😺