When the Goodbye Comes… Making the Decision

by Rita Reimers, Multi Cat Behavior Expert

A very hard day…

Losing a beloved cat is never easy for me, but this one hit me particularly hard. No matter how long they live, Missy was 20, it’s never long enough.  And being the person to make the decision is even harder. Who am I to decide??

Missy and Scooter

Missy and her brother, Scooter, were dropped off at the Lancaster County Shelter when they were 15 years old, after their owner died. The owner’s family was able to find home for the dog and for the younger cat, but these two ended up being dropped at the shelter.  (Don’t even get me started! I hope their owner haunts those people forever!)

Anyway, the call for help went out for someone to help these two beautiful senior cats who were not doing well at the shelter. Oh they were in no danger of euthanasia; our local shelter and wonderful staff and volunteers do as much as they can to get those cats and dogs into homes or sent up north to be adopted. But these two Norwegian Forest Cats, which are a large breed, were sharing one cage at the shelter so they could comfort each other. I was told they were languishing, likely to die from a broken heart.

So here they came, to get the love and care they so deserved for their remaining years. Scooter was very much a go-with-the-flow type of cat, quickly deciding he wanted to live in my office. The door was open, and he could go anywhere in the house he wanted. Many of my older cats would come up and share a bowl of food with him as they slowly became buddies. Scooter was a good boy who tolerated pets but really just wanted to eat, sleep, and enjoy just being alive.

Missy, on the other hand, decided she wanted to be downstairs where all the action was, even though it took quite some time for her to accept my love and attention.

Losing Scooter

Unfortunately, when I took Missy and Scooter for their initial exam with my vet, Dr. Glenn, Scooter was found to have hyperthyroidism. We treated it with Methimazole, first in pill form and then in an ear gel. And he was fine for quite a while, until he wasn’t. He had a stroke one day and he passed as soon as I got him to the vet’s office. He was 17 years old by then, and although that is a ripe old age, I couldn’t help but feel that I somehow failed him by not noticing he was getting sicker. Cats hide illness in order to survive and no become dinner for a predator, so its not surprising that i didn’t notice his slow decline.

Scooter was a precious boy and I am happy I gave him love and comfort in his last 2 years on earth. I know he is with his original human mom now, and is no longer sick. Another beloved cat lost and my heart broken.

Winning Missy’s Trust

Back to Missy… She was a bit nippy and touchy, often hissing when the other cats would come close but only to tell them not to approach. She never attached or bit them, no she reserved her nipping for me to let me know she didn’t want to be touched, brushed, or receive nail trims. She would occasionally let me apply Meow Mist to her ears, which seems to be itchy quite a lot. Eventually, she slowly began to trust me and understand that I would not hurt her. By the time Scooter passed, she and I were pretty well bonded. She even began to enjoy brushing, and we did “brushies” every morning while she ate her breakfast. Missy slowly became sofa pals with Smoochie, and tolerated nose touches with some of the other cats.

We became even closer when I noticed one of her nails was curled in and about to grow into her paw pad. I tried Kevlar gloves at first to attempt to clip her nails, but she bit me right through those! Yes, she BIT THROUGH KEVLAR! So I got a breathable cat muzzle for her, which fastened behind her head with velcro and was a mesh material so she could breathe but not bit through it. I was able to clip her nails successfully, and the muzzle seemed to act like a thunder shirt and calmed her down.

From that point on, Missy would sit on my lap quite a bit while we watched TV together.

Missy’s Diagnosis

Last year I noticed Missy wasn’t eating her usual favorites. I changed her diet around and got her some yummy things to entice her to eat, and she did. Her new favorite foods were from Made By Nacho and pieces of grilled chicken, and I was happy she was eating better quality food. She ate well. Until she didn’t. A trip to see Dr. Glenn in October 2023 revealed she had Hyperthyroidism, just like her brother did. We put her on medication for it, and she did start to eat again. But it was not enough. By the time January came, she was even refusing to eat chicken pieces. It was getting close to time to make the dreaded decision. I wanted her to live so badly, but it just wasn’t to be.

Goodbye Came Too Soon

I took Missy in to see Dr. Glenn again on January 26. My heart was hoping for a miracle, but my head knew it was time to let her go. My favorite vet tech Michelle and Dr. Glenn both said I was not making the wrong decision to let her go. Sure we could keep fighting it, and give her maybe a few more weeks. A few more weeks of struggling to get her to eat, of her feeling hungry and tripping me in the kitchen begging for food, only to refuse to eat it. That is not quality of life.

So once again it was time for Dr. Glenn and I to come together to say farewell to a beloved cat. I played Music For Cats by David Teie on my phone to soother Missy, and she actually pulled herself closer to the phone to listen. Since I play Music for Cats pretty regularly, it was both familiar and comforting for her. I actually was playing once of his songs called “Scooter Bere’s Aria“. Scooter Bear was a nickname I had for Scooter, so I feel like he was there welcoming his sister over the Rainbow.

Missy laid right down like she was ready to go, and as we said good bye, she went peacefully over the bridge to re-join Scooter and her original human mom, Melanie…

So, who am I to decide?

I am the one who was entrusted with Missy’s well being, and in the end the decision was right. She had a long life, and ending her earthly pain was my obligation and duty to her tiny little body and her soul.

💔